dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
