i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
