she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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