I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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