Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
