Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
