girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the day after is always just damage control
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just found puke in my bra..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
