You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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