ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
