You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
