so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
