i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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