summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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