i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im holly from the hills drunk
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
