dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
