The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
