He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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