he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
