Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
