awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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