i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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