I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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