i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
