They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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