we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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