Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
