omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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