They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
