In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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