youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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