You're a womanizer and a bitch.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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