Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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