And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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