I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
