dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
