I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
