You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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