Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
