He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
