the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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