my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
why do cheetos always look like penises
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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