I can text with my tongue
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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