If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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