Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
