Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
