I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
