ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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