Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
