She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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