Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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