Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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