You work out of a Hotel?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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