I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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