I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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