She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
