Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
