we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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