Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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