So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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