I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
