I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
