hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
