Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Someone signed my nipple.
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