i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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