kristin has been a bad kristin
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
