did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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