I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
