maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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