the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Boobs speak an international language.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize