I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
