i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
