i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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