Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize