I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just had sex bonerless
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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