the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
